Been Busy...

Things have been a little busy in my house the past few weeks. My nephew Larry graduated high school. We’ve raised him since my sister Shawnie lost her battle with Hodgkin’s Disease and he was in the beginning of 4th grade. I know that her and my mom are both looking down on us with huge smiles of pride on their faces while they watched him receive his diploma. We had family in and I was able to handle eating pretty well, which was nice.

I visited Dr. Warnock on 5/29 and according to his scale I was down 27 lbs, my scale says better things hehe. I’m not supposed to weigh myself unless I’m at the Dr. Office but I can’t follow that rule. I have been going to the gym every other day doing at least an hour of cardio. Tonight I’m starting to lift weights again, I know I will be sore as hell come tomorrow but I have done it before and can work through the pain. No pain no gain, I want to feel the burn, those phrases make me laugh and think of my awesome trainer Jennifer that I had while Dieter was in Iraq.

On the 11th, I will be 1 month out of surgery. Not many people know that I went ahead and had gastric bypass but it was the RIGHT decision for me. If anyone thinks it’s the easy way out then they should would a day in my shoes. Things aren’t get surgery get skinny.. Its get surgery, heal, lose weight re-learn how to look at food and eat all over again. Things that I once loved I can no longer even like the smell. Things I used to love to drink are no more because they don’t taste good to me anymore. Water has been my friend since surgery and I really never stray from it.

I have always had a weight problem but it never bothered me until I wasn’t able to slide down slides with Dj, chase after him, or play with him. Hell, I would never go near a swimming pool and yet down 27 lbs I’m looking for a suit because he should not suffer because of the choices I made long before I had him.

I want to be the parent that is involved and not hiding behind her weight because she is so ashamed about being so fat and is afraid if she is seen with her kids she is going to embarrass them because of her size. This is something that I have always fought with. I want to be more involved but afraid I will just embarrass my kids and cause them to have social issues at school all because I couldn’t say no to the fast food that was once calling my name.. I will never again be the parent that hides behind all the other parents so I don’t embarrass my kids.

This is the new me nothing will change about me other than my size and my yearning to live a better life. I know that some people will make quick judgments about me now but that will be something they will have to live with. I’m a wonderful person no matter my weight and I want to truly shine with dropping a few pounds.