Another Year Older!

Today the day after my dreaded birthday, I’m officially 32 years old and 1 day. God I remember when I thought being in your 30’s was old and here I sit already 2 years into it. I’m not really complaining I just feel old I guess.

Yesterday I came into the living room to find a banner that reads “happy birthday mom” Ambie, made it for me. They had been working on cards since Sunday and I have to say they are so much better than store bought ones. Dieter had to do work so I spent the day with the kids at home and running some errands.

Dieter took me out to dinner just the two of us it’s kind of our tradition. After a nice dinner, we went to Wal-Mart I tell you living life on the edge. When I got home, my best friends’ daughter sang “happy birthday” to me and it was a great way to end my night.

Ok enough about my birthday this week I have set a few goals for myself because I’ve been a gym/workout slacker. Things are just hard to do in summer with so many kids around all the time. Maybe that is why I’m up so damn early because the house is quiet and I love me some quietness.

My first goal is to get to the gym every day and do an hour of cardio. I am also going to talk about getting a trainer because I need to start lifting weights again. Dieter wants to do it with me but he wants to go to the gym at 5 in the morning that will just kill my sleepy time. I probably will go with him once he actually starts going himself.. I am going to have to get into nag mode I suppose.

My cousins wedding is in August and I would love more than anything to go out there for it. I’m trying to save some money on the side but that is always hard especially when it’s right as the kids get ready to head back to school and I have to get school supplies and clothes. Hopefully it will work out because I want to spend some time with Grandma and Grandpa.

We’re planning a trip back home the weekend of July 4^th. So if you are in Albuquerque and wanna get together even though time is limited for us we will figure something out. Drop me a message and I can give you my cell #.

So breakfast is sitting here next to me staring at me.. I have once again started my protein drinks, I have yet to try this one, and Dieter isn’t home to try it for me guess I have to put my big girl panties on and take a drink. So I’m going to end this for now and starting next week, I am going to weigh myself and tell ya’ll the results good, bad and the ugly.

My thoughts are all over the place if you already can’t tell.. Sunday I talked to a good friend and she asked if I would recommend the surgery to someone that was already seriously considering it. Personally even with the first couple of weeks being pure hell for me it was the right thing for ME to do for myself. I’ve fought with the decision to tell people that I had it done. As I have said many times before this by no means is the easy way out. If you have the discipline to keep to the guidelines it will be a wonderful TOOL, but if you can’t really would it be worth it. This is a huge learning process for me and I learn more with every passing day. Ok now that is enough rambling from me. I am going to try to blog at least every other day to keep my goals insight for me….

Have a great Tuesday!

1 month yesterday....

June 11, 2009 ~ marked the day that it's been a whole month since surgery sometimes it seems a lot longer, and sometimes it seems like it was yesterday. During this past month I have become A LOT less emotionally attached to food. Now I make myself eat or at least try to on some things, but I don't enjoy it as much as I once did. It's funny how at the beginning of the surgery I never thought about how much I rely on food to make me feel better. It's a tough habit to break but I know that I think I have come to terms that I don't live to eat, I now eat to live. I can only take small amounts of food and I'm upping my protien drinks and taking my vitamins.

Yes surgery will help me lose weight quicker than diet and exercise but after the first year it will take work to keep me down to where I wanna be. It's not a quick fix by any means and it was right for me, once I get to near where I want to be I will share my embarrassing weight with you and I'm sure you will see why.. Plus my family medical history once you know it you will soon figure out why I'm afraid to be turning 32 on Monday....

It's funny how much thinner my face has gotten since my surgery, that was the first thing I noticed that I lost a lot of weight in my face and you can tell. I don't really notice it in my body other than some of my clothes is bigger than it once was but not big enough I don't wear it. Hell I hate form fitting clothes any ways so it's going to be hard to give up clothes that will soon no longer fit me.

Well I'm entertaining the possibility of getting a migraine hopefully my tylenol works so I can get one with my day. Dieter and I get to go shopping for our healthy meals that we're going to try this week. My husband is one of my inspiration he has been able to lose almost 40 lbs since we moved here. He loves to cook and loves to make new things. So since my taste buds have changed so much I'm going to give a try to things he enjoys making even if it's sea food I will give it a taste....

To all those that are supporting me thank you it means alot. I love you all...
Tommie =)

Been Busy...

Things have been a little busy in my house the past few weeks. My nephew Larry graduated high school. We’ve raised him since my sister Shawnie lost her battle with Hodgkin’s Disease and he was in the beginning of 4th grade. I know that her and my mom are both looking down on us with huge smiles of pride on their faces while they watched him receive his diploma. We had family in and I was able to handle eating pretty well, which was nice.

I visited Dr. Warnock on 5/29 and according to his scale I was down 27 lbs, my scale says better things hehe. I’m not supposed to weigh myself unless I’m at the Dr. Office but I can’t follow that rule. I have been going to the gym every other day doing at least an hour of cardio. Tonight I’m starting to lift weights again, I know I will be sore as hell come tomorrow but I have done it before and can work through the pain. No pain no gain, I want to feel the burn, those phrases make me laugh and think of my awesome trainer Jennifer that I had while Dieter was in Iraq.

On the 11th, I will be 1 month out of surgery. Not many people know that I went ahead and had gastric bypass but it was the RIGHT decision for me. If anyone thinks it’s the easy way out then they should would a day in my shoes. Things aren’t get surgery get skinny.. Its get surgery, heal, lose weight re-learn how to look at food and eat all over again. Things that I once loved I can no longer even like the smell. Things I used to love to drink are no more because they don’t taste good to me anymore. Water has been my friend since surgery and I really never stray from it.

I have always had a weight problem but it never bothered me until I wasn’t able to slide down slides with Dj, chase after him, or play with him. Hell, I would never go near a swimming pool and yet down 27 lbs I’m looking for a suit because he should not suffer because of the choices I made long before I had him.

I want to be the parent that is involved and not hiding behind her weight because she is so ashamed about being so fat and is afraid if she is seen with her kids she is going to embarrass them because of her size. This is something that I have always fought with. I want to be more involved but afraid I will just embarrass my kids and cause them to have social issues at school all because I couldn’t say no to the fast food that was once calling my name.. I will never again be the parent that hides behind all the other parents so I don’t embarrass my kids.

This is the new me nothing will change about me other than my size and my yearning to live a better life. I know that some people will make quick judgments about me now but that will be something they will have to live with. I’m a wonderful person no matter my weight and I want to truly shine with dropping a few pounds.